Wednesday, March 3, 2010

(Not) Being Mugged

Reading Rick's post about his awful experience, I remembered my own experienceS (yes, plural: 3, to be more precise)... of NOT being mugged! Actually, one of those times ended up being rather profitable for me!
First time around: 2006. I was coming back home from Lapa - the bohemian district of Rio. People go there mainly to drink, dance forró and play snooker. Since I love all of that, and can do it all rather well, I used to go there a lot. It was about 3 in the morning and, I have to admit, I was a little tipsy.
I got off the bus, and it was a 7 minute-walk from the bus stop to my place - back then, I lived at a boarding house, in another neighborhood. The whole area was immersed in darkness, the streetlights had gone out, and it was all a little creepy.
(By the BIG effing way: do you know why I was coming back home at such a late hour by bus, all by myself?!? Cause my then boyfriend, the jerk from my last post, said he wouldn't take me home. In his car. Taking me home from Lapa and then going back to his place wouldn't have been more than 15 minutes. Seriously.)
Anyway: as I was turning a corner, this HUGE guy appeared in front of me and blocked my way. I thought: "Shit." In Portuguese. When you wanna curse, there's nothing like your mother language! The guy proceeded then, very calmly, to demand my purse. I was already giving it to him before he'd even finished his sentece! Very self-collected, he opened up my purse and surveyed my wallet, casually - he found nothing there. I'd just spent my last R$2 taking the bus.
"Haven't you got any money?" he asked, almost politely.
"Well, I've got some change here..." I said, trying not to sound too scared. But he waved his hand dismissively, and said:
"Oh no, I don't want change. What about your mobile?"
I gave it to him, he inspected it: it was this little old thing, no bluetooth, no nothing, completely falling apart. It seemed to be hanging by a thread, and the fact that it still worked was truly a work of some charitable god. Without a word, he returned my mobile, my purse, searched for something in his pocket (and I was thinking "shit shit shit shit shit..." ad infinitum) and gave me a R$5 bill.
"Go home, kiddo". And went away.
Seriously.
The mugger GAVE ME MONEY!
He left me there, looking stupid - and I almost ran after him to say: "hey, c'mon, you gave me such a scare for nothing?! Now you HAVE to take at least my mobile!"
Almost. I'm not that stupid.
I got home with my heart pounding in my chest, thinking that I should def resume going back to church.
Oh, yeah: I did use the money. I took the bus to and from college the next day with it.

33 comments:

Jamie Jenson said...

Oh my gosh!! This story is great! I am glad it ended so well. You should really turn this into a personal essay and try to get it published! It's very David Sedaris-y.

Rml said...

Hahahahhhaha, thanks! David Sedaris-y?! How flattering, he's great!
If someday I become a writer, like I intend to, I'll transform this into a short story!

RicAdeMus said...

Oh no, the mugger gave you money!!! ahahaha! That's amazing. It paid to be broke that night. I don't carry a wallet anymore, but I try to have enough money in my pockets so that a mugger won't get mad--but not so much that I care about losing it.

We both have very helpful guardian angels looking after us. =)

What a rotten boyfriend. His charm is all flash and no substance. I have a story about giving up a ride during a snowstorm so my girlfriend could get a ride home instead. But I haven't blogged about it because it sounds like bragging. I guess I shouldn't have mentioned it here either. LOL! But I wanted to make the point that not all guys are jerks. We all CAN be jerks, but some of us take a break from that once in a while. haha~

Great story!

Rml said...

@Rick: hahahahahhahahahaha! Thnx! Yeah, I know not every guy's a jerk all the time, hehe! I've had a couple of really amazing boyfriends too. (You know, I get the feeling that it's starting to look like I've had gazilions of boyfriends! It's not like that, everybody!). LOL, don't worry, we don't think you're bragging!
But yeah, my grandma gave me the very same advice, to carry this small amount of money "just in case". Cause truth is, the guy could've done ANYTHING to me that night, no one would've seen it, I was real lucky! Talk about guardian angels!
And lucky you you don't carry a wallet anymore! For me (as for most of the girls), a wallet is more than a wallet: it's an accessory! Hehe =P

beanizer_05 said...

oh yeah..poor mugger unluckily found a psycho..tsk.tsk.

Rml said...

@bean: hey! I was the almost victim here! I'M the psycho??? Tsk tsk tsk... bean, bean... and here I was, thinking u'd stand by me...

beanizer_05 said...

you did psycho him that's why he gave you alms..i mean money..hehehe..
i was there baby, but you refused to take you home 'coz you're crazy in love w/ your jerky..i even heard the mugger saying "Is that girl (pointing you) from other planet?" and I replied.."I don't know her, soon I'll meet her in bloggers and update you"

ofcourse I'll stand by you..all the time..but if you can manage..hmmm..ok, i'll never leave anyway :)

Rml said...

@bean: Hahahahahhahahahaha, alms!!!! That was a good one, hehe! So just you know, I had money in the bank and at home, just not in my purse!
I'll be counting on your not leaving, alright? I need non-jerks around, hehe!

beanizer_05 said...

oh yeah?..prove it..lend me.hmmm..ok, change my mind..you keep enough money when you hang out..always leave something for the muggers!..have pity on them for once..if they mug you the 2nd time, give them a soccerkick in their _____s!

i'll never leave baby..but if you push me to..then..i'll cry and and..ok, i'll stay no matter what.

no matter what they tell us..
no matter what they do..
nnanananna...

Rml said...

@bean: ok, first of all, I don't know this song... but from what i just read, and knowing you, it must be an awfully tacky song!... =P

I do keep a little $ on me now, hehe, don't worry!

beanizer_05 said...

oh..heheee, you don't know the song..i'm sure didz knows it but (where is she?)..you google it..NO MATTER WHAT of Boyzone..you're not into boybands, right?..
i'm not tacky..im just... CUTE!

Rml said...

Hahahhahahahhaha, "cute"! Right... whatever works for ya!
I still like some boybands, as a guilty pleasure... Backstreet Boys, N'Sync and Five... that's it, hehe. These were the ones from my high-school time... good old days... the only Boyzone song I know is "All that I need", and it's as tacky as they come!

beanizer_05 said...

exactly,,way back in highschool..what is the 1st line of ALL THAT I NEED??..i know BSB, 5 and nsync..
seriously robz, where's didz? it's been 2 days..she's not planning any killing right?..hey, what u doin ryt now? stil in school?

bella said...

hahhahahaha......cant stop laughing....it was funny and even SCARY!!!
but seriously...your then boyfriend was a big @SS****!!!! such a jerk!!

Rml said...

@bean: "I was lost and alone/ trying to grow/ making my way down that long winding road"... taaaackyyyyy! Hehe... I know, where IS Didz?!... Ha, she wouldn't dare to plan your... I mean, any killing without me!
I went to sleep... now I'm going to work!

@bella: hahahhahahaha, yeah, now I think it's downright funny too! Ahd oh yeah, the guy's a complete jackass! I broke up with him a couple of months later...

beanizer_05 said...

i remember now..
you're the air that i breathe girl, u'r all that i need..and i want to thank you robbiee....
this is more than a torture having no psychic pengwee around..u sure she didn't drop your clasrum erlier?..coz i know u mis her..

Rml said...

Hahahahhahaha, this song exactly!
Yeah, I miss'er... torturing you without'er around is just not the same! (Even though Bella is more than a worthy companion, hehe!)

beanizer_05 said...

yeah..it's not the same nymore..but bella is nice..and kinda killer too

bella said...

a couple of months later!!!!
how could you tolerate him??!!!!

Rml said...

@bean: oh yeah, bella's def got the instinct! But our fave pengwee is sure missing!

@bella: hahahahaha, you know, I ask myself that very same question nowadays - but truth is, I was madly in love with him back then! Go figure...

beanizer_05 said...

that's the stupid side of love..i have gone with that too..getting stuck in wrong people..

yeah,,didz is MIA.

Rml said...

@bean: oh, she'll show up, worry not. For now, we'll have to get by without her - hard, I know, but we must! I'm sure it's for a good cause! =P

beanizer_05 said...

(sniff sniff)
you think so??..oh..i know! she's giving us enough time to get along each other well..tsk. tsk..didz is reallly sweeeet..

Rml said...

hahahhahahhaha, yes, that MUST be the reason!

bella said...

Love!! good it never hapnd to me!! never been in any relationship till date....and doing pretty well being single!!

ambiguous_angel said...

*laughing*
that's kinda funny.
i never thought he'll end up giving you money..but lucky you.

and i agree with Rick, not all guys are jerk, there are 000.1% who isn't. But i was thinking..what was smart girl like you doing with somebody like him?
maybe what they say is true, love is blind.haha

Rml said...

@ambiguous_angel: hahahahahaha, thank u! Well, as I said, he's quite the charmer at first; besides, he's quite smart too - obnoxious, but smart. And, after all, if a girl does not have at least ONE experience with a jerk, what stories will she have to tell her grandchildren, right? =P

@bella: oh, there advantages galore in being single, I agree! But there are a great many too in having someone by your side. If they're nice, evidently! Not jerks...

Didz-W said...

*sniff* (smelling your blog) - Aaaah..it's good to be back! haha! hey Robbie (& Bean) sorry u guys for the delay. I've been on too much of pmsing drama... I guess I'm back in business now. Hehe.
lol! that's really amusing! u sure are 1 lucky girl. He was a good mugger or at least. Something like Robin Hood or a kind of mugger other people would love to meet perhaps. Hehehe. On top of this cute funny story, you're guarded by an angel :) Good for you!
Btw, I love playing snooker too!

Rml said...

@Didz: hey, u'r finally back!
Let's play snooker!!!!!!!!!

Didz-W said...

Ok! Bring it on! Hehe. where r u suggesting we play? I usually play at my aunt, it's free! Heehe

Rml said...

@Didz: hahahahhahaha, fair enough! So when's the next plane to Brunei???

Didz-W said...

That depends on your availability and on Bean's cash too! hahaha! I'm so hoping he will find this post soon!

Rml said...

@Didz: hhahahahahha, MY availability and HIS cash?! Hahaha, great! I hope he sees it too!